Certain sects of the Christian population have become so desperate that they’re willing to sell out their core values for the sake of boosting their numbers.
It’s evident by a slew of new churches selling the message “Jesus wasn’t no punk bitch” as a means of getting more men to join their congregations.
The New York Times recently published a report on the Jesus meets Fight Club marketing plan:
Recruitment efforts at the churches, which are predominantly white, involve fight night television viewing parties and lecture series that use ultimate fighting to explain how Christ fought for what he believed in. Other ministers go further, hosting or participating in live events.
The goal, these pastors say, is to inject some machismo into their ministries — and into the image of Jesus — in the hope of making Christianity more appealing. “Compassion and love — we agree with all that stuff, too,” said Brandon Beals, 37, the lead pastor at Canyon Creek Church outside of Seattle. “But what led me to find Christ was that Jesus was a fighter.”
Old Testament and certain instances of Jesus cracking the whip out against those that disrespected his pops aside, isn’t the focal point of Jesus’ message about compassion, love, and charity? Are those not the themes he fought for in the most non-violent of ways?
I saw this menu floating around Twitter yesterday but since I had a lot of things to tend to I didn’t bother joining in the uproar. That and I saw no real reason to get in an uproar anyway. Maybe if this were a few years ago when I had a pick stuck in my head might I have gotten a wee bit sensitive about and joined in the chorus of jeers.
I did have a few potential ideas in my mind when I saw it, though. Like maybe this menu is the brainchild of some confused non-black person who wanted to pay “tribute” via food. As in, uh, what do Black people eat? Soul food, oh yeah, let’s serve everyone that. You know, good intentions that weren’t necessarily all the way thought out. A few people would get upset, but no big deal in the end.
And then there’s the other scenario that places some racist with a penchant for prejudice jokes turning the cafeteria into one indirect Klan rally where they get to prove white superiority by serving a bunch of bug eyed, sophomoric (in their bigoted minds) blacks some watermelon and fried chicken.
If that sounds stupid to you then good, that was my intention.
As unfortunate as the latter scenario would be, that’s not what’s keeping black men, women and children in peril. We have bigger catfish to fry.
But I forget how funny life is and no greater example of that point is this video that I stumbled along only a few minutes ago:
Whatever option you choose be certain it results in you no longer gracing the Earth as a walking, talking example of human trash.
That is, if you’re guilty. Should you be found completely innocent I suggest you reevaluate the relationships you forge with people and look into some serious couples counseling.
But if you’re actually evil and twisted enough to brutally beat a defenseless baby, please run into a speeding Hummer barefoot on a hot summer’s day.
At the very least, don’t do some stupid shit like the following:
Now I’ve driven by Johnnie Cochran’s law building a few times so I think that qualifies me to offer a smidgen of legal advice.
I don’t know Kesan Moore. I never watched From Gs To Gents so I can’t say anything about his character or the one reality producers helped him play on TV. All I know is that he’s been accused of beating his own child. That in of itself suggests something’s not right with him. He’s either cruel or careless — two qualities that should result in automatic spaying.
Whatever lead to his daughter’s injuries will be up to the po-po, judge, and potential jury to decide, but here’s one thing that I hope can be agreed upon now: It’s stupid as hell to create a video based on serious legal allegations involving your child.
Or so I thought.
Making matters worse is that judging from the commentators of this video he’ll be further convinced he should do more stunts like this.
I saw some fool say we don’t know what happened, let God judge them. Bitch shut up before a thunderbolt cracks your damn skull in the next storm.
As far as Kesan and this track: Uh, the media doesn’t care about you. I bet every news anchor that read your name in reference to this story hadn’t a clue as to who you were before they saw their script.You’re not even on Tila Tequila’s level. Why would there be a media conspiracy against you?
The only people gunning for you are the police and if you’re proven guilty then I’ll be tempted to send those dudes some donuts after conviction.
Is he really filming him turning himself in to the police while giving a radio interview? Like he literally took the time to plan a music video out in response to allegations he almost killed his own child. This is the type of subject matter that requires wardrobe? Is this real life, ya’ll?
What would possess a person to see this as an opportunity to spit hot fire? Fool, call your lawyer, not a producer.
If he turns out to be innocent, fine. But no parent ought to be using this as a means of generating buzz for their would be rap career.
Please oh please let a microwave heat up and destroy his sperm like a Hot Pocket.
If I had my way that might have been the title of my latest piece for AOL News (formally Sphere), but I can see why they opted for something a bit less intense. No matter, though, because even a defanged version of me can still make a point.
I opted not to fixate on Harry Reid’s “Negro dialect” and musings on the brown paper bag test because I felt we as a country have more pressing matters to worry over. However, when it comes to the issues of Harry Reid’s re-election campaign along with patronizing politicians in general Senator Reid’s latest gaffe is fair game.
Click here to read my thoughts on Senator Reid the Faux Civil Rights Freedom Fighter and why I’m not trying to hear about the Civil Rights Movement in reference to my people and progress in 2010.
1. Although entertaining, does anyone else ever stop and think, “Dear, God, please let this never happen to me at their age?” while watching Let’s Talk About Pep?
2. What does Ke$ha need more: Running water and soap or a court order to piss in a cup?
3. In hindsight, Kanye West had a point, didn’t he?
4. Why won’t Harold Ford let Harold Ford be great?
5. How long before Mathew Knowles’s rumored new daughter drops an album?
6. Is Ray J going to ever stop mentioning Kim Kardashian’s name?
7. Should Atlantic Records send Chris Brown and Usher flowers for making it possible for Trey Songz to finally blow up?
8. How long before Madonna asks Lady GaGa to play a game of True Blood?
9. Has anyone else perfected their Nicki Minaj accent yet?
10. Who else is happy for Mo’Nique?
11. What are the chances of her shaving her shins for the Oscar red carpet?
12. Are there no black people in Hollywood?
13. Is it fair to say that despite still sounding like a 5th grader the majority of Cassie’s leaked tracks have been pretty good?
14. When is the last time you hit ‘em with the flex?
15. Who else wants to hit Grammy voters and show producers with GaGa’s hat?
P.S. Did Grace Jones teach her that pose?
16. Even though it’s good to know she still feels compelled to orbit into Earth every now and then for a check, who else expects a Bin Laden/Bush sex tape before a new Lauryn Hill album?
17. At this point is there even anyone left to give a reality show to?
18. Can someone get Joe Jackson a job at the Post Office so he can stop nagging his son’s lawyers to fill his piggy bank?
19. Doesn’t Matt Kemp seem like the type who would casually move Rihanna out of the way if she got in his paparazzi shot?
20. You are still telling many, many people and their cousins about this site, aren’t you?
I never get why people insist on repeating every year that the Grammy Awards are boring. That information is about as new as the second letter of the alphabet. Having said that, for a show known for putting people with attention-deficit hyperactive disorder into a mental coma I’d say this year’s Grammys wasn’t all that bad.
Interesting enough to get me to break down the three or 15 hour broadcast? Not even, but I can break it down in ten.
And we’re off:
1. Beyonce is everything, deal with it.
Truthfully, I would have never guessed “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” would net a songwriting award let alone the biggest one of the night. But it did, which just goes to show you how effective both a video and a catchy hook can be. And that Beyonce is respected.
As far as Beyonce’s performance goes, she sounded great and I appreciate her hiring Blackwater troops to back her up for the performance. Better them in LA than Iraq. I’m a bit surprised she worked in the Alanis Morrisette cover from her tour into the act, but she can do whatever she wants. She obviously wants to sing angrier songs sometimes. Why didn’t ya’ll let “Ring The Alarm” be great?
I get a lot of flak from the more sanity-deficient members of B-Unit for not drinking her bath water all the time, but I’m elated the girl scored Best Pop Vocal Category (quite the cue for a black girl) and made Grammy history last night with her six wins.
I know Beyonce still seems to bring out the insecure high school girl in many people, but if the thought of Beyonce winning so much pisses you off to that great extent, grab an ice tray and hit yourself with it.
…now cool off, cool off.
2. Pink and her husband are jackasses.
Here’s Mr. Pink on how to properly convey that you’re jealous and bitter:
The demanding stunt did not impede her singing, she said, adding, “No one ever has another excuse to lip-sync.”
With her tour over, Pink said, “I’m going to go home and cook and get fat.”
Hubby Carey Hart, meanwhile was quick to chime in with a few words of support via Twitter. “Though Pink wasn’t the big winner tonight, she stole the f*ckin’ show! 150 dancers don’t compare to her alone on the stage. Ask the crowd.”
He later added: “Pink, you were amazing, and EVERYONE knows it. No gimmicks [sic], just talent. I love you baby.”
I prefer Pink when she was singing Linda Perry’s life story, but she obviously still knows how to churn out a hit. That said, while I appreciate her trying to be different than her peers I hate the condescending attitude she has towards them.
For her and her husband’s information, giving yourself a bath in a leotard before you swing around an arena like an extra from Cirque du Soleil is just as gimmicky as hiring a bunch of background people for your performance.
Not to mention her incessant need to remind us that she’s completely antithetical to the cookie cutter pop stars of the world makes her seem just as contrived as the people she constantly lashes out at.
From Britney Spears calling her out for sending her flowers one day and thrashing her the very next years back to the way she made it seem as though Kanye West skinned her damned puppy with his bare hands in front of her – Pink can be really bitchy at times.
She sounded good last night and her performance was fine, but just so we’re clear Beyonce sings circles around Pink. Homecoming is over, Pink. You lost. Accept it and move on.
3. It was good to see Rihanna on stage accepting an award.
Last year was Rihanna’s year and it’s sad it was taken away from her. Fortunately, while this year wasn’t as big for her as last year it was good to see her back a year later in good spirits.
See how nice I sound? And I bet you were expecting me to throw an eclipse her way.
4. Michael Jackson Can Outsing You Dead
The tribute was nice and Carrie Underwood and Jennifer Hudson sounded lovely, but that performance reminded me of just how good a vocalist Michael was. I was never a huge fan of “Earth Song,” but he sounds amazing on it. Bless Usher’s heart for trying to hit those high notes.
When he got down to the ground as if he was doing something in my mind I imagined that was simply Michael kicking him.
I still felt it, though.
5. Leave Disabled People Alone
I am still confused by Jamie Foxx’s performance last night, but I do know talking about people with disabilities is not the business. It’s actually a good way to get a stamp and wrist band for the VIP section of Club Eighth Circle. That’s the hottest spot in Downtown Hell for those who aren’t up on game.
6. I Appreciate Country Music Artists
They provide great bathroom breaks.
7. The Grammys still don’t respect hip-hop.
No offense to Stephen Colbert, whom I love, but best comedy album can be presented on-air (which is very rare), but best rap album can’t?
As for Drake/Eminem/Lil’ Wayne’s performance, it could best be described with three words: Beep, beep, beep.
Damn, FCC. Why so serious?
8. Ciara is relentless.
I see this girl will not rest until everyone calls her a fashion icon and sex symbol. Can someone hurry up and tell a white lie so she can go back to doing what made her popular?
9. Lady GaGa was wronged.
Not robbed because she did kick off the show with her long lost aunt and did win two hours, but I didn’t like the fact that GaGa didn’t accept an award on television. She was a main draw to the show so I think it made sense for them to make sure she’d get a chance to win something while the show was airing. They’ve done it countless times in recent years so why not do it for her?
Sidenote:
I loved her showing up to the show as Judy Jetson. Look and learn, Ciara.
10. Taylor Swift wants your award…and will get it.
How in the hell did she win Album of the Year? Better yet, how sad is it that they kick off the presentation of the award noting that ten years prior Carlos Santana won the same award ten years prior before handing it to Taylor Swift?
That girl is nice (although I’m over the whole “I’m so shocked I’m still winning every damn award” thing), but I’m just surprised that she’s managed to become as much a critical success as a commercial one.
Before you even say it again, I don’t think Kanye has much to do with it. Yes, he got a large percentage of black people to learn her name and the sympathy of people with every other hue, but she was already slaying the competition in sales so that can’t be it.
You all are so fixated on Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Rihanna kicking it with the demon down under that you might have missed out on the real conspiracy.
Forgive me if I’m guilty, but is it wrong to automatically rule out a song called ” Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home)” when it’s common knowledge that the daddy in question is currently changing the diapers of two little kids?
In an old white man made a politically incorrect statement on national TV news, Chris Matthews has managed to steer some of the attention away from President Obama with his on-air revelation that for an hour he forgot what box the President would check off on his census forms as he delivered the State of the Union address.
For those of you unfamiliar with the name Chris Matthews here’s a sample offering of the gold he dishes out weekdays on Hardball which airs at 5:00 PM EST on MSNBC (cut the check, MSNBC…a plug is a plug):
Those of us familiar with the showaren’t the least bit surprised that Chris managed to mouth this off with a straight face. These sorts of comments are very typical of him. Chris seems to have an affinity for speaking without being bogged down by the tedious task of thinking first. His heart may have been in the right place, but his tongue obviously opted to go in another direction.
I can imagine how many of you reacted to this clip:
1. First, you take a second to try and make sure your ears aren’t deceiving you and ask yourself, “What did that muthafucka just say?” Then you put that cup down to raise your middle finger.
I had it all planned out. I was going to write a blog about snobbery. How wrong it is, how even I sometimes slip up and engage in behavior unbecoming of someone who wants everyone on the planet to love me and throw their money behind my work, and why we all need to take a little step back and give people the benefit of the doubt. Or at the very least, try to be more understanding.
And then I read three stories this morning that have me revisiting my argument. Not that it’s changed, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just tempted to start a “Damn You Dumb Asses” t-shirt line.
The first story details how Tisha Campbell’s sister has named her new born babyNina Minaji Campbell.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that these folks are beefin’ over the recent Supreme Corp. (that’s not a typo) decision that corporations have free speech rights as granted in the First Amendment of the Constitution, and therefore are free to make it rain without restraints on the U.S. electoral system.
Obviously, that Minnesota woman carrying the shovel didn’t appreciate homeboy’s quip that we need to send out a special prayer to Ronald Reagan for leaving us with this staunchly conservative and pro big business court. I might have been tempted to swing batter batter on that ass, too, after a statement like that.
I’m sure if Trick Daddy’d lil’ cousin would have behaved himself better than there would have been no need to pull out the weapon. Lucky for him the subject of Obama’s proposed spending freeze didn’t come up. I imagine the conversation might have shifted quickly to an impromptu NRA rally had that happened.
Or maybe I’m out of my damn mind and just need to accept that this is just another instance of hood shit – only in the presence of white shit on the ground.
But, isn’t my scenario much more fun?
I saw this clip yesterday and just knew I had to use it, but I couldn’t think of a good reason why. Then I woke up this morning and starting pursuing the usual sites and it hit me: “Damn, I sure want to hit a lot of people right now.”
Not with a shovel, though. I can’t afford the court fees right now. Rent is due on the 1st. Ya’ll understand.
I wouldn’t mind smacking some sense into a few people with a fly swatter, though.
Sounding off:
1. The Supreme Court
On what parallel universe is the plight of the corporation comparable to that of the slave? That assassin comparison by Republicans aside, have we not already seen the damage big business does to the electoral process? I already think most voters are uniformed twits (maybe not most, but surely the ones who were ready to riot if the State of the Union preempted the premiere of Lost). Now it’s going to be all the more easier for companies to slap a jingle, jig, and big face on a campaign ad and fuck shit up for the rest of us.
I won’t wish illness on anyone, but I wouldn’t be mad if Samuel Alito, Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia all caught a case of the Benjamin Buttons so they can be replaced by someone with some damn sense.
2. Kelly Rowland
I really want to route for this girl, but you’re not going to get far stateside performing like this. Not that I managed to watch the full thing or anything. Even I’m not that big a masochist. Try to give her two minutes of your time and you’ll see what I mean. I’m happy she’s got the “give us free” grin on her face after sending her Mathew on his way, but c’mon nah, Kelly. I’ve never heard that big a crowd so silent.
3. Lil’ Kim
This girl looks like suki yaki hot saki soup…you sock it to me…I’ll sock it to you with Martha Washington’s foundation. Black history month is coming up, people. Someone pull this talented lady to the side, pull out the swatter and smack the black pride into her.
Writer. Music head. Political junkie. Pop culture whore. Funny black boy. Looking to have a voice in the world -- with a few good sponsors.
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